MP3 Sammy Simms - Dreams
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10 MP3 Songs in this album (34:54) !
Related styles: Easy Listening: Ballads, Easy Listening: Mood Music, Solo Male Artist
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How a baby was born
It was a cold winter and a windy day and while snow blew over the icy world outside, That day Sammy Simms would see the light, but he almost died out there. What was he thinking? Nobody, including Sammy, ever would know the answer to this question. Fact was. that on his day of birth the death march pounded through the room where he was supposed to be delivered. It was a long struggle, because Sammy didn't pop out as easily as every pregnant woman would want to deliver her baby. Sammy was different. Sammy already seemed to have his own will and maybe the death march was just not such a great introduction for his appearance, who knows?
Nevertheless, after hours of hard labour by his mother and a stubborn father who refused to turn down the depressing sounds of death, he finally gave in. a big heavyweight baby was born. Still, though he had given up his resistance at that point, he surely did not give in that easily. He obviously was, in a particular manner, a stubborn guy and, up till a certain level, he would be that for the rest of his life. According to him it is the healthy form of stubbornness though, at least most of the times. This was not one of those times, that was so obvious painted in his blue face.
So, while the music pounded through the room, the hand of a nurse pounded his buttocks to make him scream. Sammy refused once more to serve the people that wanted him to live. He kept his breath and was quite good at that, but he realized as it seemed he could not hold on forever and thus, after a long time, he started to react on the slapping hands and cold and hot water technique to bring a shock to his body to make him breath. He started to cry and a sigh of relief filled the room. Sammy Simms was born.
There is not such thing as justice!
The story continued, just as a struggle as his birth. Sammy grew up and as a red line through his life, he never chose the easy way. He had no clue himself why he could not give in, but he simply did not agree with the world outside with all its imperfections, a lack of justice and the unfair policies that kept people from being happy and equal. While his world was still small, he did not like the way adults talked to each other or to their children. Or how the nuns at his school protected and privileged the rich and let the poor kids just be left ignored. He did not believe in force and all spells that were used as a threat and so he refused to cooperate. A bitter fight was the result.
While at home Sammy decided to stand up for his brothers and sisters and outside any defenseless person he met he got pounded, just like the death march that introduced him in the beginning. Soon he was fighting his father to show him that he should not do what he did to his brothers and sisters. This was particularly hard for him, but also for his father who in his own strange way loved his son so much, too much maybe. Sammy was not impressed by his flattering words though, all that Sammy wanted was justice. And while his old man complimented Sammy on his school results setting him as an example to the others, Sammy himself did not want that exceptional role. It did not serve justice at all. He was smart, yes, but did that need mentioning? There was nothing to be proud of as far as he could see, those gifts had been given him for free, it was not an accomplishment. It was not fair to bring that upon his brothers and sisters, who might have been less lucky. On top of everything he looked different and that too, made things worse. His dark hair and tinted skin made him even more into a misfit. Well that was how he felt anyway. He felt like he was not part of the family, moreover because his brothers and sisters where jealous of him being intelligent and drawing so much attention and in the same time they got angry at him for his "big mouth" probably, he had to his father in an attempt to wake him up. Sammy did not understand, wasn't he trying to get more freedom for all of them? Nobody seemed to understand his thoughts and unstoppable drift for justice and because of that, he thought he was a weirdo too. Now Sammy would not show that, because he had his pride. Instead he waved away all nagging people and all harassment coming his way, at home, but also at school where his family and he were targets of the richer families. It was a catholic school, but to say it was a school of God he certainly had his doubts on. He doubted on many things. He thought adults were childish and annoying. His first thoughts about adults in this negative way, started at the age of four. He would never become an adult, he decided. Growing up you can not stop, but he certainly had no positive feelings towards the so called adult life, more the contrary. And even later, he asked himself often the same question: After all, what is grown up? You can grow until you die and some people never grow up even when they think they are! Yes his mind worked in a different way. Sammy was everything but standard. Following the lines drawn for each of us, made Sammy into a ship without a rudder. Nobody ever could see what his always busy mind was thinking. Nor they could ever know what his painful little heart was enduring. Those who might have seen a bit of his desire to show people that he was a good boy, might see through the mask of indifference, toughness or jokes and fake smiles. It was his way to show the people he was adapted to the rules of human kind, but deep in his heart, Sam always stayed lonely. Lonely in his thoughts, and solitair in his moves. All he did was existing because there was no room in this world for thoughts that were so 'unruly'. Sammy knew like no other, that justice was a fantasy and he knew that from a growing experience. While he always loved anyone he did not know how to show them, since also his love seemed to be not understood. He became the outlaw of the family, the lonely ranger in the bad world. For this world, he did not seem to care, and bit by bit, he died inside.
We are all actors
Another thing was that he felt that if everybody follows rules like sheep and without thinking if it is right or wrong, is a thief of his own personality, like an actor in a movie or a clown in a circus. The fact that everybody acted different in different situations was proof for it in his eyes. People would argue with him about that, because they liked to believe that it was a part of socializing, you can not be and do whatever you want, it might hurt someone. All crap to Sam and spoken to a deaf man's ears. He believed that the key lies not in how we connect, but how we respect and tolerate each other. If you tolerate differences in every form, as long as they are within the boundaries of real justice, which includes not intentionally hurting people, there was no reason to disrespect anyone who had a different opinion, religion, colour, taste or whatever. He believed that we all acted to survive, but not to live.
At a certain moment, when he was about 9 years old, Sammy wanted to be a clown in a circus. That way he could act and give people a smile on their face, while everybody knew it was not really him. The world after all is full of clowns who take themselves far too seriously and even think of themselves and also being described by others as a honourable men. Sammy saw many "honourable men" deciding to throw bombs on innocent people, he saw respected men defending court and law, while everybody knew that only the rich can afford the better lawyers. He concluded: "We are clowns and hide behind our red noses to hide our tears and sorrow." Sam wanted to act as a job, not through his life, but he also knew he might have to. He did some "tests" to see the reaction of people. When he dressed in a certain "neat" way, he was treated nice but when he dressed in a more alternative way, he would get many negative responses. "Life is a wonderful thing"... Yeah, for the rich and well dressed people and for those who are willing to follow that down going line of power and privileges. No, Sammy could not agree with the world and it's ideas about justice. It simply did not exist.
Doctor Phil mentality
Yep they know it all so well, sending messages to the people and telling them how to behave, but the difference still remain. While they got it all, they often judge those who have nothing. There we go with many American presidents, some exceptions left out of the picture, but also politicians from all over the world including his own motherland. Sammy would have loved this sort of power, to be able to do something finally for the poor people, for the sick and disadvantaged. With his thoughts and ideas he knew though that such a thing could never happen. Not because it is not possible to make all people happy and have a useful experience of being really human, because he believes we can, but we just don't want to. It means giving up things, sharing and human nature is selfish, or not? And besides, he was convinced the real rulers of the words, the multinationals, would put a price on his head. Let's face it, politicians are only marionettes of the rich. The real power is hidden where the money is.
Maybe all of it is just another fruit from the tree of life that humans shaped in a thirst for power and control. It does not matter. What matters is that Sam wanted to make a difference, somehow. If only for a few people he felt his struggle to be alive would make it worth it. Then his presence made sense. What we are lacking of is a purpose, yes even those who believe in a God, because if all we live for is the afterlife, then we are put here by mistake. We serve a purpose, or we have a purpose. It can't be that we are all just here to grab, kill, scold and to hurt. Love is so exaggerated that people are blinded by movies without ever really have been searching in those deep dungeons of their own being. We are all missing the point and since Sam is on his own, he also was just missing it. Nobody wants to talk about subjects like that and practically every person Sam met, declared him crazy or in the mildest version "wrong". Sam knew however, he got close to the essence of it all, but the core was so hard. Resistance from so many people, caused by fear and therefore the core was left unexplored, so that no one, including himself, never could reach the purity inside. Therefore he would never be able to find the real answers either. He was just as limited as the rest of the world's population. Still he longed for that particular moment. He often prayed to God to show him the way, the way to illuminate himself and all people around him. There was no, and will never be illumination for the people who think they know it already and that is why Sam has to keep searching. Until he is, in his own terms, full grown, which is the day a person dies. Adult is a crappy word, full grown is an ever lasting process until you cannot grow no further. Death...
Drifting on a lonely sea and a little hooray!
Already as a child Sammy loved attention and because he ruined that for himself, sending "bad friends" away, quarreling with his family, breaking with bossy bosses, kicking on politics, a system and anything else that was polluted by human greed, bad attitude and so on, he never got that type of attention. He thought he was boring and since he could not fit himself into society in the ways of civil obedience and docility, he hided for a long time for the cold outside world. He was drifting on a lonely sea forever. He was told so many times he was no good that he had started to believe all of that. He realized that his life was ending, he had no goals anymore, at least not goals that would fit in this world we live in. Sammy gave up. He lived mostly in withdrawal and hardly saw any people. All he did was making his music and writing his songs.
And then, out of the blue, a new baby was coming. Sam's baby. Sam was going to be a father of a dream. Sam himself was going to be reborn! He decided that in spite of all his doubts upon himself and all the negative vibes from others in his past, he wanted to share what he had been doing for all those years in his little room in his house. He would give birth to a CD, whether it would sell or not, whether it would serve the whole purpose of his suffering or not, nothing mattered. You can only live, when you had died a thousand deaths. And that was exactly what Sam decided to do. No matter how bad he felt and still feels, he will share his stories with the world, whether they want it or not. If he has no purpose then at least let's dream one. He called his firstborn "Dreams" after his life filled with agony, he decided to set as much as he could free, to feel a little bit human, just like the rest of us...
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