Have you been hurt by your father? Have a hard time trusting God? As we heal the wounds from our earthly fathers, we can experience more love from our heavenly Father. Then we can learn to trust those we love, the basis of an intimate marriage.

15 MP3 Songs in this album (52:16) !
Related styles: Spiritual: Inspirational, Classical: Vocal Music, Christian

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Details:
How elusive God the Father seemed! I believed He was in charge of the universe, but did He love me? His love finally seeped in, penetrating my heart, as I healed from my fatherâs abuse. For the first time I felt His compassion and tenderness. I began to run to Him with my aching heart, my grief, and my angry questions. He listened and wrapped me close. In time He became my Abba, daddy.

The more I absorbed the Fatherâs love, the more I could trust. As I experienced intimacy with the Father, I drew closer to others. I also healed when I felt the love of friends, counselors, and my dear husband. Remembering and processing trauma was hard. I couldnât have done it without them!

I found triumphant moments in my valleys. I invite you to find hope and joy in yours as you open your heart to the dear Fatherâs love.

Dedication:
Dedication I dedicate this CD to my husband, Brent. He had many reasons to give up on me. When I remembered being sexually abused as a child (13 years into our marriage), we both went into a wide range of emotions, and that was just the start of what came to light over the next 20 years. My pain, triggering, and reactionary distrust of men were extreme at times. My personal journey through abuse was horrificâthe raw edgeâand healing required time, money, and energy. It took a special person to walk through this journey of healing with me. Most of our vacations were spent working on the âlatest issues at handâ with the goal of getting me wellâprayer sessions, counseling, and conferences. We have discovered that most marriages, where one spouse has severe
abuse, do not survive long. Yet Brent stood with a long term commitment to me, no matter what was discovered. I am so thankful he made that choice. Over the years, we cried, prayed, talked, and sought Godâs way of healing. Many of the days and nights pushed us past our personal limitsâinto the arms of God. Thank you, Brent, for your persistent love, listening heart, shared tears, crying out to God on my behalf, leadership, financial sacrifices, patience, and steadfast stability. Your support and hours of holding me close through the nightmares will never be forgotten. I love you!

You have lived out this passage before my eyesâ

âHusbands, love your wives,
just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
so that He might sanctify her,
having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory,
having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing;
but that she would be holy and blameless.â
Ephesians 5:25-27 (NASB)


All lyrics for CD #4 Loved by the Father Loving each other

A daughter of Your design

Why did he do it to me? Why did he hurt me so?
He was the one I trusted. I was too little to know.
He put my heart in prison; darkness engulfed my soul.
When I became a woman, how could I ever be whole?

He stole my heart then crushed it. I buried it far behind.
I was afraid of being who You made,
A daughter of Your design,
A daughter of Your design.

Iâve lived with fear inside me, pain that I couldnât bear.
Those memories forgotten, yet my heart cried out in prayer.
Outside my body wasted. Inside I hid in shame.
Then the fog started lifting and I remembered his name. Chorus

I want this fear no longer, I want this hate to go,
What he has done, forgiven, so that Your love I can know.
I want to call You, Father. Will You take care of me?
I want to be Your daughter, just as You made me to be.

Lord, take my heart, remold it and liberate me inside.
Iâll trust in You to gently make me new,
A daughter of Your design,
A daughter of Your design.

Transference

Youâre like my Daddy. I loved him so!
But he betrayed me as a child, I know.
At times I feel deeply drawn towards you; you seem like him to me.
And when I work so hard for you itâs him I want to please.

When I was little, I longed to be
His pretty princess he would love so sweet.
As Daddyâs little girl I tried to catch his heart within my hands.
So when I feel mixed up towards you, I hope youâll understand.

Itâs so confusing. My heart is often turned upside down,
For he was using my love to meet his needs somehow.
And though I wish youâd come and be the dad I need
I canât live expecting you to be a daddy to me.

I realize now Iâm testing you.
If Iâm your friend, will you betray me too?
I feel so fragile deep within my heart for I was victimized.
And all the feelings flood back in when I look in your eyes. Chorus

I need a daddy who loves me so!
Who wonât betray me in the way Iâve known.
A daddy who will always be there when I need to run and cry.
Heâll wrap me up within his arms and comfort me inside.

I have a Daddy. Heâs the compassionate Lord above.
He cares so deeply and daily demonstrates His love.
Inviting me to come, He listens to my needs.
Now at last I have a Dad who wants to be with me.

To my friend and teacher
A big thank you to all who have ministered the Fatherâs love to me!
References: Matthew 12:46-50, Galatians 4:6

The Fatherâs love

I stumbled home in tears. Would Daddy now disown me?
To my surprise he ran to me and hugged me.
Heâd seen me coming near. With searching eyes Heâd waited.
Heâd longed and prayed for what He knew I could be.
I knelt before Him and confessed my sins.
I felt so unworthy and humbled then.
He saw I was broken and this is what I heard,
âMy child, how I love you. Dear one, how Iâve missed your face.â
He kissed me and loved me and wrapped me in His warm embrace.

Reference: Luke 15:11-32 (The Prodigal Son)

Will You be a true daddy to me?

Will You be a true daddy to me? When I come will You listen?
I need one who will listen to my heart. Will You be my daddy?
Will You be a true daddy to me? May I sit in Your presence?
Will You now open up Your heart to me? Will You be my daddy?

My heart cries for a father. May I be Your daughter,
Resting in a love that wonât betray?
Will You love me purely, holding me securely?
Let me find in You a peaceful place.

Will You be a true daddy to me, helping me be a lady?
May I be the sweet princess of Your heart? Will You be my daddy?
Will You be a true daddy to me, one I trust in completely?
Youâll protect me and with You Iâll be safe. Will You be my daddy? Chorus

Will You be a true daddy to me, one whoâll love with compassion?
When I sin I will run back to Your arms. Will You be my daddy?
Will You be a true daddy to me? Will You love me forever?
I will sing and Iâll laugh with You each day. Will You be my daddy?Chorus

References: Romans 8:14-17
I John 3:3

I can cry now

I can cry now, without shame Iâll show my heart,
Not deny now whatâs within the deepest part
As He unties now all the ropes that held me down
As I receive the Fatherâs love.

I have tears now, I am free to say I feel,
Persevere now as His love my heart reveals,
He calms my fears now teaching me to love anew
As I walk in the Fatherâs love.

I can feel now Godâs compassion when you cry
As He heals now and I sit close by your side
Iâll not conceal now how your pain in moving me
As we grow in the Fatherâs love.

References: Genesis 45:1-8, 14-15, 46:29, 50:15-21
Luke 7:36-50, 19:41-44
II Corinthians 1:3-4

Forgive?

How hard it is to leave this hate and anger, Lord, with You.
Oh, help me to surrender this, then live my life anew.
You have showered me with mercy!
I have felt Your warm embrace.
How can I stay bitter when Youâve shown such grace?

I forgive them, Lord, forgive them, Lord, as Youâve forgiven me.
I lay this at your righteous feet, my Savior and my King.

Reference: Matthew 6:12, 14-15, 18:21-35

Dressed in white

He has made me pure and holy,
Dressed me in a robe of white.
Spotless now I come before Him,
Iâm His joy and His delight.
Now my Father calls me lovely.
Iâm His daughter, He the King.
He invites me to His presence.
For Him I will dance and sing.

For Beckyâto dance

References: Romans 5:19
II Corinthians 12:2-3
Ephesians 1:4, 5:26-27
Philippians 3:8-11
Colossians 1:21-22
Titus 3:4-7

Trapped!

Iâm trapped inside and fighting to get out.
While pacing to and fro inside I shout!
Each time I get close to you, why am I so afraid?
Feeling panic deep within I want to run away!

Itâs not a wonder I am so afraid.
When I was young I built a barricade.
Each time I was hurt inside the little me said, âWait!
Do not trust your soul again to rest in oneâs embrace.â

Let me run! Oneness is too scary.
I need space to work on what I buried.
I must find an answer to my fears.
Growing close, thereâs terror in my tears.

I search the walls, where can I find a door?
I see it now where there were bars before.
Who is standing quietly now reaching out to me?
In his hand he gently holds the cageâs golden key.

Should I run? He is not too scary.
Who is He? With Him should I be wary?
I donât know if I can trust again.
I canât tell if he is foe or friend.

He speaks so softly, beckons me to come.
I stop and stare and want no more to run.
By his presence he has calmed the panic deep inside.
Now within his love Iâm not compelled to run and hide.

Ending
He is the One, the only One
Who holds the golden key.
Jesus is Love, the only One
Who is able to set my heart free,
Who is able to set my heart free. (2X)

To BrentâThank you for your love and patience!

Why am I afraid of you?

Why am I afraid of you?
Sometimes when you touch me I just want to run away.
I curl up inside and there I want to stay until the fear subsides.

Youâre learning to wait âtill I come out of hiding,
To gently be present as you walk here beside me,
Loving with patience, understanding my fear,
Seeing my plight when you are near. Chorus

You understand now why I run when you come near,
Why inside I panic when you say, âI love you, dear.â
I was so little when my heart tore in two.
Now itâs hard trusting even you. Chorus

I know thereâs a place I can find deeper healing,
As I allow Jesus to continue revealing
How deep the pain goes, then He helps me forgive.
Jesus is teaching me to live.

Iâm not so afraid of you.
Sometimes when you touch me I can love you in return,
Relaxing deep inside the way so long youâve yearned.
Iâm learning to abide, in His peace, at times.

For BrentâThank you!

Thank you for crying with me

Thank you for taking the time to hold me.
Thank you for caring enough to cry.
You shared a part of the grief Iâm feeling,
Such sadness bottled up inside.

I needed someone whoâd cry with me,
Whoâd share my long buried pain.
For when I had suffered from othersâ sins
Where would I run with my shame?

Thank you for offering comfort to me.
Thank you for weeping with those who weep.
You brought a spirit of gentle healing
To anguish that was buried deep. Chorus

Thank you, O thank you. Thank you for crying with me.

For Brent with love

References: John 11:32-35
Romans 12:15

Thank you, my friends

Thank you, my friends, for your love.
Thank you, my friends, for your prayers.
Thank you for listening intently to me.
Thank you for tears youâve shared.

There were times when I wondered how Iâd get through.
I would cry to the Lord then Heâd send you.

Thank you, my friends, for your love.
Thank you, my friends, for your prayers.
Thank you for listening intently to me.
Thank you for tears youâve shared.

Thank you to all of my friends who have prayed and supported me through all of my healing!

Your bride

I was your bride so long ago. How young we were back then.
How different I would be if I were starting once again!
I really didnât know how to receive you, to take your heart inside.
The wounds I had from growing years had closed my heart with many fears,
Caused me to run and hide.

How I thank the Lord Heâs touching me as Iâm giving Him my pain.
And what weâve been through, though difficult, He will only use for gain.

Youâve tried to show your love for me in multitudes of ways.
You longed to be so close to me but often found delays.
You didnât comprehend how I was hurting inside of my walls.
I wanted to reach out to you but didnât know just what to do
To answer your heartâs calls. Chorus

My love, I give my heart to you in ways I never knew,
When I became your bride and said Iâd always walk with you.
I know the future holds so much between us. His Spirit makes us new.
Forgive me now for words of mine that grieved your heart so long a time.
Our love He will renew. Chorus

For Brent with love

References: I Peter 1:3-9
II Peter 1:2-8

Isnât this what love is all about?

Looking back on the years we have walked together,
Drawing so close, then pulling apart,
We are two humbled sinners who see our weakness,
Learning in love to now touch with our hearts.

When you laugh or cry, I will be here by your side.
Weâll trust the Lord of Love to help us work things out.
Whether rich or poor you are mine and I am yours.
After all, isnât this what love is all about?

We have seasons of glory and times of goodness,
Teasing and romance and warm laughter, too.
But so often we wanted to feel closer
Wondering how we would ever get through. Chorus

There are times when Iâve hurt you and said, âForgive me,â
Learning how deeply your tender heart feels.
Then Iâm thankful for Jesus, He comes and meets us,
With His compassion He tenderly heals. Chorus

BrentâThank you for your commitment to your wedding vows
and for the love you have shown me in all we have been through!