Stand up comedy you can make love to.

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Rob started his comedy career in Tysons Corner, Virginia. He quickly became the greatest comedian of all time. It wasnât long before his humor was curing cancer, impregnating infertile woman and feeding the homeless. If you think Brian Reganâs funny, youâre right. Robâs act is the perfect marriage of sex and love. Itâs hot, unadulterated and intense yet sensitive, caring and unconditional. Robâs stage presence alone will get him into heaven. His unique insights often convince the police to look the other way. Which one doesnât fit? The invention of the wheel, the Berlin Wall being torn down, Rob Maherâs bit on abortion or Neil Armstrong stepping foot on the moon? If you said the Berlin Wall being torn down, youâre right. He loves animals. Rob is a firm believer that ânoâ means âyesâ and pepper spray means âdo me harder.â Rob Maherâs act is a good book, a glass of single malt scotch, a comfortable pillow, a secluded stall in an adult bookstore, a Jimi Hendrix solo, a scene from Apocalypse Now, a pay per view prison riot and the sun setting over the ocean. Itâs everything you ever wanted or needed. So buy Rob Maher's new CD, "It Takes A Village." Buy copies for your entire family. You earned it. You deserve it. Do the right thing. Thank you.

Here's a couple of my recent blogs. Enjoy.

The Small Penis Theory

Fellas, always tell a girl you have a small penis. Whether your packing 4 inches or 12 inches, always say you have a small one. There are several reasons for this. First of all, if you tell a girl your huge down there she probably wonât believe you. She figures every guy says that. Its in one ear and out the other. But by saying your small, this peaks her interest because no guy claims that. Now sheâs wondering about your penis. Sheâs asking herself questions. âWhy would he say he has a small penis? Does he really have a small penis? Maybe he has a huge penis and heâs just saying itâs small. Maybe it is small but he just has enough confidence in himself that he doesnât care that itâs small. Maybe he thinks its small but itâs really average.â Now sheâs got your penis on your mind and thatâs a good thing. Sheâs curious about your penis. This doesnât mean sheâs going to do you just to find out but it does help your chances, which brings us to the best part of this little theory.


Letâs say you do end up hooking up with this girl who youâve told youâre small. Whether you are in actuality small, medium or large down there, you end up like a champ regardless. Lets say youâre a little on the small side. You go to have sex and she sees that you are in fact lacking. Sheâs now saying to herself, âOh my God he is small. He wasnât lying. He was completely honest with me. Honesty is sexy. I love a guy whoâs honest. He was upfront with me the whole time. No games, no bullshit. And he had the confidence to admit he had a small penis. He didnât care that I knew that for he knows he has so much more to offer. Thatâs so sexy. Iâm going to go and fuck the shit out of this small penis.â Brilliant. Score one for the small guy.


Letâs say your Johnny average. Sheâs expecting a small penis but when she sees your Mr. Medium sheâs pleasantly surprised. Itâs always a good thing whenever you end up being larger than what the girl expects. She sees it and sheâs like, â Heâs not small at all. Thereâs nothing wrong with his penis. Itâs a perfectly respectable penis. I bet some dumb bitch of an ex girlfriend told this poor guy he was tiny and heâs had to live his whole life thinking that. Poor guy. Women can be so cruel sometimes. All this guy needs is a little confidence. I bet I can get him to come out of his shell. Iâm going to go and fuck the shit out of this medium penis.â Brilliant. Score one for the average guy.


Letâs say your packing some extra down there. Sheâs going to see it and be all, â Wow, its fucking huge! This guy was just messing with me the whole time. He knew he was hung. Heâs got the confidence to say heâs small because he knows what heâs really got. Thatâs hot. He so surprised me. I love surprises. This guy keeps me on my toes. I donât know what heâs going to do next. Itâs an adventure being with him. Iâm going to go and fuck the shit out of this giant penis.â Brilliant. Score one for Mr.Big.


So ladies, for the record, I have an incredibly small penis. Iâm hung like a seahorse. Call me.



Wham, Bam....


Iâm not very good in bed. Actually, itâs not that Iâm not good, its that I donât last that long. Itâs OK when youâre 17. âOh, you only lasted 3 minutes. Isnât that cute.â Well, itâs not cute anymore. This is a problem every guy has at first. I donât think women realize how tough it is for us guys when we first start having sex. At that age, all we think about is sex but when we first start having sex all weâre told to help us last longer is to think about something else, like baseball or whatever. My mind is like sex, sex, sex and then finally Iâm having sex and suddenly its â Will Cal Ripken ever get hurt? Die Hard is a great movie. I wonder if the A-Team is on tonight.â So the only time weâre not thinking about sex is when weâre having sex. Itâs very confusing. It got to the point that I was thinking about sex so much that I couldnât concentrate on anything else. I was having sex just so my mind could think about other things. I was having sex just so I could get shit done. Iâve got a book report to do. Whose gonna do me? I need to study for my Spanish test. I need a blow job! But after a while that stops working. Iâm still finishing quickly, Iâm just thinking about weird shit when I do. Iâm climaxing thinking about algebra. I solved for X and X = 3 minutes. X = disappointment. X = Iâll never see her naked again. Wham, Bam, Iâm sorry Mam.


This all brings us to today, 500 satisfied women later give or take 493 women and satisfied. Rather than go through the trouble of actually lasting longer, now I just spin my sexual efficiency a little better. Allow me to explain. I last three minutes, girl is bitter. I tell girl I would last longer but Iâm so attracted to you. I think youâre so hot. I love your smile, your eyes, everything about you. I think youâre the most wonderful, special girl Iâve ever met. Youâre intelligent, funny, honest, sweet, caring and simply amazing. Everything about you turns me on. I canât imagine lasting any longer because of how much you turn me on. Girl says, âWow, are you really that turned on by me?â I say, âOf course baby. What, do I think Iâm 17 or something?â Girl says, âBut my last boyfriend could go all night.â I say, âWell, he didnât love you like I do. He thought you were fat.â Now girl is excited and turned on by how quick I am with her. Sheâs actually trying to make me finish quicker. If I get real drunk one night and make it to 5 minutes girl thinks somethingâs wrong. âAm I getting fat? Do you not love me anymore? Is there someone else?â Now Iâm buying girl flowers. âIâm sorry for almost satisfying you baby. It will never happen again. Love, Johnny Come Early.â Wham, Bam, Your Welcome Mam!


Now ladies, if youâre reading this thinking that bullshit would never work on me, thereâs only one way to find out. And if there happen to be any women out there that wouldâve considered having sex with me but now wonât after having read about my lack of stamina, well, donât believe everything you read on the Internet. God Speed.