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ASYLUM! The Owl Wood Publications: 001

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Written in English English, with poetic licence fully endorsed and punctuation thrown around as though it were free. 10,600 words (about 21 typed A4 pages) in size. PDF format. The first in a series covering life in Owl Wood through the year.

ASYLUM! The Owl Wood Publications: 001 follows the desperate flight of two elderly dogs (of adventurous waistline) from a cruel home, across the patio, through the vegetable patch and into The Owl Wood. Blagging through Owl Customs & Excise is no easy task and once inside the realities of anthropomorphic animal-esque life in a patch of Lincolnshire woodland really sets in. Where once the tin-opener knew her place (in the kitchen) and the dinner dish floated down from on high (the worktops), in the Owl Wood independent catering arrangements must be made. It is a baptism of fire for the innocent Toby and he is fortunate indeed that Pipsqueak is prepared to do anything - anything at all - to support them in their new life.

This opening story paves the way for YULE PAUSE AND FROSTY CLAUS (002) - the cancellation and re-instatement of Santa Claus's birthday celebrations (i.e. modern Christmas). A magical tale of silent night-time snowfall, new Super-Spirograph sets, red and green tinsel, flying deer and sleighbells tinkling gently in the looted wreckage of the Christmas delivery van.

These are stories for readers of all ages, for adults with even older, wrinkly adults prepared to read to them, for grubs, rugrats and sprogs with adults who must necessarily read to those sprogs but wish to stay awake themselves. No sex, no violence and very little in the way of cussing and that of the mildest nature. Imagine a provincial Amateur Dramatics Society production with the space between your ears as the stage and your brain as caretaker, waiting in the wings to sweep up. Ealing Studios with a touch of anthropomorphic stuff and nonsense.

Talking of nonsense, the automated preview shown below is beyond mine or seemingly anyone else's control and contains random gaps, cruddy formatting and the most peculiar selection of phrases.

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