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I was kicking around a bunch of names in my head for a while and I was about to just say "fuck it" and self title the CD (or call it Fuck It) when I went back into my lyrics sheets and saw the working title of the track "No Fare." I''ve got a little bit of a fascination with the word "realize" because of its multiple definitions. Since none of the other track names seemed to make a good album name, I decided to look up the word "realize" on https://www.tradebit.com and see just what they had to say about the word to double check all of its definitions. Here''s what they had to say:
re·al·ize [ree-uh-lahyz] , -ized, -iz·ing.
–verb (used with object)
https://www.tradebit.com grasp or understand clearly.
https://www.tradebit.com make real; give reality to (a hope, fear, plan, etc.).
https://www.tradebit.com bring vividly to the mind.
https://www.tradebit.com convert into cash or money: to realize securities.
https://www.tradebit.com obtain as a profit or income for oneself by trade, labor, or investment.
https://www.tradebit.com bring as proceeds, as from a sale: The goods realized $1000.
https://www.tradebit.comic. to sight-read on a keyboard instrument or write out in notation the full harmony and ornamentation indicated by (a figured bass).
https://www.tradebit.comguistics. to serve as an instance, representation, or embodiment of (an abstract linguistic element or category): In "Jack tripped," the subject is realized by "Jack," the predicate by "tripped," and the past tense by "-ed."
–verb (used without object)
9. to convert property or goods into cash or money.
Now, I wasn''t aware (you thought I''d say "I didn''t realize," didn''t you) of the last few definitions. I guess you learn something new every day, but I am most interested in good old definitions 1, 2, and 3. Number 2, in particular. That seems to sum up what I wanted to do with this whole project. I wanted to make something very real and sometimes imperfect out of the songs I''ve been writing and singing in my bedroom; so I recorded them live in my bedroom between 3:15 and 4:15 on June 29, 2007. All the songs were played in the order you hear them and all were done in one take (except for the last song {I confess, I really screwed up the last line of that one and did a second take}). I''ve cut out sections of me tuning my guitar, drinking water, and mumbling to myself, but I''ll put out the raw tape at some point if anyone really wants to hear it.
But back to the name. Does recording something make it real? Is it merely a reproduction of an original something that started out as real? We seem to think that real, legitimate music goes on CDs and is bought and anything else is really just someone''s amateur junk. But I''d venture to say that putting those thoughts into notes and lyrics is the real moment of realization in more than one sense of the word.
Sometimes I sing nonsense words before I write my lyrics just to get my melodies working, but, in reality, the words that come out are merely a realization of what I have to say without mediation. And that''s how songs like "I Don''t Need You" and "We''re Going" get written. These moments not only find us making our thoughts real by putting them into words (just as the moment you tell someone your friend is dead or your relationship is over makes it real to you) but they also let us realize our thoughts in the most common sense of the word and good old definition three. We find out, "oh, I guess I do think that on some level" and it becomes clear what''s been lurking. And then it becomes ok. Whatever it is, (sometimes it doesn''t totally make sense {like "We''re Going" which, as far as I can tell, is about the idea of trying to perfect the one you love}) but it''s out there now and it is what it is. Often, I don''t realize what I think about something until it''s a song. Then, even if the lyrics don''t end up being what I really think, I learn what I could think about it and I get to see it from another angle. And so, we get definitions 1-3.
So this is a really long post, by my standards. I haven''t even gotten to the other definitions. I guess all that stuff about money makes some sense, too, since my CD is now available for purchase. However, number 7 is really of more interest to me. When I hit that one, I knew I had to use Realize as the title. In a way, the entire album uses the philosophy of sight-reading. Playing by the seat of your pants. In my case, I had a pretty good idea what I wanted to do, but things never come out exactly as planned and you always end up with some interesting improvisation. Granted I wasn''t using a keyboard, but whatever. Fretboard is close enough. Here and there my singing goes out of tune, for which I apologize, and my playing isn''t perfect, but that''s what it is to play live.
example 8.
"Chris recorded"
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